Sorry I haven't posted any lessons recently I've been a bit fucked up and hopefully they will resume again once I figure out what will come of this current experiment. Perhaps it may be a precurser to something larger but If I really spoke about it here it would nullify the effects so I'm kind of stuck on how to teach this stuff in its purest form so I try to give my personal experience rather than just step 1,2,3,4... which allows a lot of interpretation.
I've been continuing with my abstinance experiment and recently I've found it to be quite difficult. For all you people out there who would like to think they understand that I'm talking a lot of crap and making a mountain out of a molehill, lets see you guys give it up and tell me it doesn't change the way you think.
I'm sort of torn between two mindsets which which seem to come hand in hand in trying to keep this kind of self controll.
No sexy thoughts at all
As I deliver myself from the addiction of self pleasuring I start to wonder should I start again? I've set myself 28 days to coincide with a purification ritual I read a long time ago but I didn't check the phase of the moon so it doesn't really apply. Although I tend not to believe in such things as being important I figure out I know nothing about how these ideas originated or what the benefits of doing this might be so I just try to coincide with what I've read as best I can.
It seems that anywhere I try to get information on masterbation just seems to be encouraging it if not anything else. I feel like todays pornography is leading me down a path I don't want to explore. As I understand how the mind can associate certain stimuli with whatever anchors are available at the time. For example on one site I used to frequent I began to notice users would post comments on the videos such as "Hey check out that guys dick" in the straight sections.
When I say "Don't think of a red triangle" not many people are actualy able to complete that task without thinking about what they're trying not to think about.
Also with the introduction of "Jailbait" into most mainstream streaming video sites, often as the cover picture for another unrelated video I begin to question "why is that user doing that?" Jailbait started off as a joke with the motivational posters but I think its a joke too far.
Any female form acting or portrayed as the sexual stimuli in which we have grown accustomed to regardless of age will create a reaction. Why is it becoming so socially accepted for girls younger and younger to become sex symbols?
One of the things that I have heard a lot of paedophiles have said in defence is that "You used to proscecute Gays and Lesbians it wont be long till we're accepted" and now I fear it may becoming closer to a reality than most people think.
I am no longer a teenager but as the motivational pictures joked at "You keep getting older and they keep staying the same." Maybe I shouldn't be making as big a deal as I am about this but maybe I should.
Porn has now became degrading, disgusting, and seemed to have became a mimic'd and deeply faked expression of what sex is supposed to represent and if anybody disagrees then why don't you show me your willpower and give it up and you'll see it as the addiction that it truely is.
Ultra super sexy thoughts
As I set out on this experiment I assumed that my powers of synchronicity would increase... I felt like it did for the first couple of days but it has deeply dwindled to almost nothing. I tried to reingauge my sex drive by watching porn but not actualy masterbating which only lead to the disgusting revelations I speak of above.
As theorized in my universal model anything wich does not move only generates potential energy. A bit like for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. A magician knows this that the harder a person concentrates the deeper the relaxation once he lulls you into the false sense the trick is over and it is at that moment he performs the sleight of hand.
On a side note I allways find this works 100% for me but whenever you guys are having a slump in the girls market just stop masterbating I dunno if its cause you're constantly randy all the time that girls can pick up on the pent up sexual energy (beleive me, you'll be looking at girls in a much much more seductive way) or perhaps it is a universal force at work but as I firmly beleive and understanding of both elements is vital to controlling such forces as one works with the perceived reality from the person living it (yourself), and the one which is created once you share your viewpoints and the person's opinion is mixed with your own.
My brother is currently undergoing the same changes as I did at his age and I know he's having a tough time dealing with the strange goings on (His clothes just went on fire for no reason, I seen him kick away a ball and moments later he took it out his pocket) the advice I gave him was to not think of these things at all because once something is percieved it changes and he'll only start to wonder if he's going crazy and add excess meaning to something which is not important.
Although those experiences were very real to him and he was thoroughly disturbed by them I made sure that he understood there was allways going to be a logical explanation derived from peoples past experiences and assumptions that strange things never happen without an explanation. This in itself cannot is technically more valid as evidence any more than your experience so what I told him just to ignore them and if they we're truely something special or paranormal he would give strength to that energy by letting it go unperceived and the events should create bigger mysteries that would involve other people. This has became a silent pact we now have with each other and I only feel it wont be too long before my youngest brother joins us as he has allready exhibited strange behaviours and he's became a bit of a psychic vampire.
I wonder if this is all my fault at the things I tried to acheive when I was younger. If it is now my curse to be forever dealing with whatever darkness I let into my family or whether I am dealing with something which has existed long before me. My family is no stranger to strange going ons and it feels like I seem to be the most mentaly equipted to deal with it without falling into hysteria.
I've kinda lost track of what I'm writing but I've basicly rambled on enough but maybe I'll come back and share some more thoughts or maybe get back to the lessons
HowToConASewer
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